A little more than a week ago – before summer descended in all it’s hot and humid glory on Northern Virginia, as it tends to do after Memorial Day — with my back and hips aching from the damp chill, I decided to take a nice, hot bath. I love getting the water just hot enough so that I can open the window above the tub, let the breeze blow in, hear the sounds of nature and look at the trees and sky while I soak and ponder.

This particular evening, it had rained, and large banks of clouds were marching across the sky. I watched them as they rolled and transformed themselves, playing the familiar game we played as kids, trying to see what I could see in their ever-changing form.

Suddenly, I saw a profile. One with bushy hair, a long nose and what appeared to be a mustache. Yes! It was Einstein. Einstein in the clouds! I laughed out loud in delight and wished I had my camera handy. But no sooner than he appeared, the great man was swallowed up by a shift in the breeze. Still, he had been there. And to think I had JUST read a quote from him that morning…

The quote I read was this one: “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Which, of course, lead me to thinking about the thinking I had used to create my most recent problem, namely that I am not doing well working 100% on my own. What was I thinking??

Granted, I am an “independent little cuss” to quote at least one of my parents and maybe a few other folks as well… And granted, I am an introspective, intuitive introvert. Yes, all of this means I do well working on my own and prefer times of solitude to think, generate ideas and rest.

What I have discovered, however, is that being independent and intuitive is not enough to attract the work to me, and I am driving myself up a tree and beating myself up about what I am doing (or not doing) that is wrong or, more often, what is wrong with me that I can’t “make” this work.

Now, Albert, if you weren’t a specter in the clouds, I would ask you what I should DO about that? I suspect you would tell me it’s all relative. And well, yes, I suppose it is. So, since then I have been thinking about a different kind of thinking, the kind that will help me solve this problem.

This is going to take a while, and it won’t be revealed as magically as Einstein’s profile in the clouds, but I figured a good place to start was by telling the truth of what lies behind the problem.  The truth is that I am not sure what to do with myself in my own context. I know what to do with myself in the context of other people, groups or organizations, but when left completely to my own devices, my own flood of ideas, my own pile of should, my own demons and delights, I tend to avoid, hide, armor up, shut down or numb out. And that’s just not working.

I know where this comes from. At least I’ve cracked that part of it, which was really tough. Now I need to change the thinking that was formed and perfected over a couple of decades. Phew. I wish that was as easy to do as it is to write. But, as it’s another partly cloudy, partly rainy afternoon, maybe I’ll wander outside and see if the clouds have something to say to inspire me…I just hope they don’t show me Al Roker, or worse, Al Bundy, this time.

When I first started Transpire, a little more than a year ago, the first thing I did was create content for this website. I wanted to distance myself from the career I left – strategic communications – and reposition myself in my new career of organization development. So I talked to a lot of people and wrote content based on what they recommended.

The content you see on the site is not that first content. About six months in to trying to build my business, I realized that what my website said I did and the reflection it gave about who I am was just not authentic. It did a really good job of reflecting what other people told me I should say, not so much about what I really wanted to say. So, I rewrote my content to more accurately fit my voice and portray what I thought it was I really wanted to with myself and my work.

It’s better. More me. But it’s not there yet. Recently I have been wondering why I am throwing out my first career, like the baby with the proverbial bath water, when communications is still a crucial part of the work I am doing today. It is a core component of organizational health, key to the successful management of change and the creation of resilient, responsive, agile organizations.

I know – from having practiced strategic, organizational communications and marketing for over 20 years – how vital the work of communications is as well as how challenging it can be.  I also know how often communications is overlooked as a vital element to decision-making, effective execution, employee engagement and change management.

I get it. And I can help address it! So, I will be reinventing the content here to reclaim my expertise. As I do, I wonder what will transpire? Stay tuned!

Yesterday, after being sick for nearly three weeks, I finally felt well enough to re-engage in my regular exercise program. I am a walker. I have been a walker since before walking became cool. By moving my body, I clear my mind and access my creative capacity. Yesterday, I needed a little of all of that.

So I set out on my usual, 3-mile route. Normally, I can keep up my pace and finish the three miles in well under an hour (not bad for someone with really short legs and a 3-year old left knee!) But after only half a mile yesterday, I noticed that my pace was flagging as was my energy.

Always very hard on myself, I started to get frustrated that I was going “too slow.” My mind was making a lot of noise, telling me to either crank up the pace or give it up. But I did neither. Instead, I kept on course but respected my need to move more slowly.

In the end, I got home about an hour and 15 minutes after I started, which was surprising to me since I thought I was really crawling. But the time is really irrelevant. I could have quit, but I didn’t. I could have driven myself until I dropped to soothe my ego, but I didn’t. Instead, I took care of myself and moved slowly but with purpose. And I went the distance.

How often do we find ourselves in a similar situation in our work, when a project seems out of reach and we feel stressed and want to quit? What would happen, if instead of listening to the noise in our heads and draining our energy with negative thinking or fear of failure, we just put our heads down and went the distance, but slowly, out of respect for and committment to ourselves?

How can you take care of yourself while going the distance today?

Do you know how much your leadership impacts the culture of your organization, and how much your culture impacts your brand? The best leaders understand that everything they say and everything they do is watched, taken to heart and assimilated into the way people behave throughout the organization, whether with one another or with customers/clients.

Boss #1 was TOO HARD. She was abrasive, abusive and unpredictable. From day-to-day, moment-to-moment, we never knew what to expect from her.  Worst of all, she was only out for her own benefit and would often embarrass us, criticize us and throw us under the bus in front of others in order to try to make herself look better.

Boss #2 was TOO SOFT. She loved everyone to a fault, which sounds wonderful until I realized that meant there was no accountability and there were no boundaries. People ran rough-shod over one another, violated agreements and passive-aggresively undermined one another’s work, because they knew there would be no consequences. If someone got upset, they would go into her office and she would pat them on the head and validate their feelings, but would never take action to fix any of the issues that abounded. Boss #2 avoided conflict at all costs. As a result there were conflicts brewing at all times, most often under the surface, creating a pressure that was palpable despite the boss’ smiling face and polished demeanor.

Boss #3 was JUST RIGHT. He walked his talk. He allowed us autonomy in our jobs, but provided all the support we needed.  Most importantly to me, he kept things in perspective. When others would start to freak out, he would slow things down. When someone got too serious about something, he would lighten the mood with a quip and a laugh. When the President of the organization got a crazy idea that threatened to throw us off task, he would step in and be a buffer so we could work in peace.

Today’s post was written by Muriel Maignan Wilkins of Isis Associates. I received it in the monthly Isis newsletter and thought it was so good that I had to share! Thanks to Muriel and Isis for allowing me to reprint this.

Sometimes you come upon leadership lessons in the least expected places. This past Saturday, as I sat outside my daughter’s ballet class, a sole sheet of paper that hung on the bulletin board caught my eye. The title on the lavender hued flyer read “Rules for a Dancer”. To pass time, I read the rules. What I found is a treasure trove of lessons brilliantly transferable from dancers to leaders. I thought these principles worth sharing whether you are an aspiring leader or already an effective leader in your own right. And in light of election week in the USA, I’m hopeful that President Obama and newly elected officials will be reminded of what will be required of them in the years ahead to lead in a sustained, engaged, impactful way.

So here they are, listed in no particular order (Replace the word “leadership” with “dancer” and you can see how these rules originally applied to dancers.):

1. Leadership is hard. No leader ever became successful riding on their natural born talents only. The world of leadership is akin to an extreme sport. Natural ability will only get us so far. Leaders must work hard and persevere.

2. You won’t always get what you want. You don’t always get the role you wanted, the results you want, hear the praise you want, make the money you want, see companies run the way you want, etc. This teaches humility and respect for process of leadership. The faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with being impactful. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work.

3. There is a lot you don’t know. There is always more a leader can learn. Even our least favorite bosses, team members, and customers can teach you something. The minute you think you know it all, you stop being a valuable asset.

4. There may not be a tomorrow. A leader never knows when things will go off course. A strategy changes, the economy takes a dive, a personal challenge takes place. Lead every day as if it is your final opportunity to do so. Don’t save your passion for leading for the big moments. Infuse it even in your day to day routine.

5. There’s a lot you can’t control. Don’t waste your talent and energy worrying about things you can’t control. Focus on honing your leadership skills and being the best leader you can be. Keep an open mind and positive attitude.

6. Information is not true knowledge. Knowledge comes from experience. You can discuss a task a hundred times and go to multiple meetings, but unless you get out there and engage with your organization, you will only have a conceptual understanding what’s happening. Find opportunities to get out beyond the executive suite. You must experience what is happening throughout your organization, with your customers and the industry to call yourself a true leader.

7. Someone else will have more than you or be better than you. It does not matter. Rather than get caught up in what others are doing around you, focus on the things you are good at, the things you need to work on and the things that make you most impactful as a leader.

8. You can’t change the past. Everyone has a past. Everyone has made mistakes and everyone has glorious moments they want to saver. Effective leadership focuses you to focus on the present. To be at the top of your leadership game, you have to be in the moment; the minute you take your eye off the ball, mistakes happen. If they do, see #12.

9. The only person who can make you happy is you. Leadership and work, in and of itself, cannot make you happy. The root of your happiness comes from your relationship with yourself, not from what role you are given, how much money you make, what company you work for, etc. Sure, these things have effects on your mood and outlook but in the long run it who you are on the inside that make you happy.

10. There will always be people who don’t like you. Leaders are on public display when they make hard decisions, drive change, and even the smallest actions such as who they talk to in the cafeteria. Critics abound. You can’t be everything to everyone. No matter what you do, there will always be someone who thinks differently. So listen to others and concentrate on what you know in your gut is right.

11. Sometimes you will fail. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, following the best advice, you will fail. Failure is a part of life. Failure can be the catalyst to some of your greatest growth and learning experiences. IF you never failed, you would never value your successes. Be willing to fail. When it happens to you, embrace the lessons that come with failure.

12. You will at times have to go above and beyond the call of duty. Every leader has at one time or another had to extend themselves and their organization further then what they thought they were capable of. This causes undue stress. There are many good reasons to put in the extra effort and time – and there are just as many reasons not to do so. Ask yourself if the cause is worthy and if it is the only way to get to the desired results. Go into the situation fully aware of the implication on you and others. And make sure to recognize when it’s time to get back to a normal pace.

13. Changing course is sometimes good. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. I f you keep doing the bare minimum, don’t complain when you and your organization don’t move to the next level. If you want to grow beyond your comfort zone, you must push yourself beyond your self-imposed limitations.

14. You will never feel 100% ready. Nobody feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Leaders have to be willing to take risks. From taking a new role, to making an unpopular decision, to changing course, leaders must have a flexible mind and attitude. The greatest opportunities in life force you to grow beyond your comfort zone, which means you won’t feel totally comfortable or ready for it.

So there you have it. Simple yet powerful leadership principles found in the most random of places. Take note of these lessons for yourself. Share them with others.

– Muriel Maignan Wilkins

The culture of your organization is either your biggest asset or your biggest liability. Strong cultures are resilient because they attract and keep talented people and they inspire employees to go the extra mile, helping the business not just survive, but THRIVE. Your organization’s culture is a liability when limiting behaviors inhibit the smooth functioning of the organization. So how do you make your organization resilient in these turbulent times?

This is the topic for my upcoming webinar, hosted by the Entrepreneurs’ Organization on Thursday, November 8 at 10am Eastern Daylight Time. You don’t have to be an EO member to sit in, so please feel free to join us! Here’s the link!

In this webinar, you will:

• Explore the 5 characteristics of resilient companies
• See how your leadership values and your company values impact your ability to THRIVE in challenging times
• Leave with a checklist of actions for building resilience in your business culture

Have a great weekend, and I hope to “see” you on November 8. Once again, here’s the link!

Every once in a while, I make an attempt turn off my inner Donald Trump (he drives me relentlessly, belittles me and tries to fire me constantly, even though I’m the boss) and tune in to the messages around me. Every time I do, I am rewarded with insight.

Today, I was watching an episode of Super Soul Sunday from OWN, which I recorded a few weeks ago. It featured the Reverend Ed Bacon and was on a topic that normally causes me anxiety and that I would normally avoid – religion and spirituality (the religion part, specifically.) I started watching and soon had to turn it off, but not because it pushed an anxiety-producing button in me, but because it made me stop and think.

Reverend Bacon was discussing how we all have a divinity inside us which leads us to connect with the divinity in others – this is our spirit. He said that so many people are afraid of this notion, because by connecting with that divinity inside of us,  “it separates us from having to have an external authority…” He goes on to say that those people who are “living in the house of fear” (as opposed to the house of love) are terrified of not having a doctrine or dogma created by an external authority to follow. They are afraid to trust their own spirits and the spirits of others.

A lot of things about this triggered me, but the concept of needing an external authority and the notion that that need causes fear was what hit me the hardest. Remember I mentioned my inner Donald Trump earlier? Yeah, he is the embodiment of the house of fear for me, the love child (fear child?) of all the authorities I have had in my life. His is the voice that asks”who in the hell do you think you are?” and puts me in my place, stifling all hope for creativity and optimism. In the end, after I tussle with him, I feel hopeless and powerless, unauthorized to act on my own behalf because I don’t know what “the authority” believes is right because all I ever do is get it wrong.

So I sat with that a while, and I realized that my struggle is one between authority and authorization. As long as I believe there is a right way, and as long as I am attached to the thought that I don’t know what that way is but that I SHOULD know, I am destined to repeat this dance.

First, I believe there is an authority greater than me, outside of me, somewhere. Second, I simultaneously resist that authority while at the same time searching desperately for it because I believe it has the answers to end my suffering. This in turn gives me no authorization to act on my own behalf and leaves me largely paralyzed, confused, full of tension and exhausted.

Confused as to the difference between authority and authorization? Here are the ah-has I had as I thought this through:

• The voice of authority tells and judges. It creates tension.
• The voice of authorization invites, inquires and allows choice. It creates relaxation.
• The voice of authority urges me to rush, drive and push even when I don’t know where I am going. It encourages the “fill and kill” approach to the hours. It is impatient, anxious or bored (which is anxiety in disguise.)
• The voice of authorization is fully present and attentive to what is happening. It respects time as an important resource but remains open and curious. It is calm, receptive and respectful.
• The voice of authority is one of powerlessness, of not enough or too much.
• The voice of authorization is one of empowerment, surrender and creativity.

The conclusion I came to is that I need to trust myself and believe that I can and will authorize myself according to my values. I can be trusted to be an authority about my own experience and that I don’t need to know…well, anything, really about anything else.

The belief that I don’t know enough is actually a gift in my work. If I walk in either believing I am or allowing my clients to believe I am an authority and am there to “fix” their issue, both of our positions are weakened, the truth of the situation is compromised and ultimately no one has full authorization to actually dig in and create a better situation.

Not knowing and surrendering authority creates space for finding out, makes room for curiosity and allows everyone involved the authorization to be a part of the solution.

Growing up I loved to perform. Singing, acting, dancing. Yes, yes, yes! But of all of those, I probably identified most with being a dancer.

In the beginning, I didn’t think I was that good. I had a hard time learning choreography. It seemed to take my body longer to remember the steps, but once I had them I had a great time. Still, because I couldn’t pick it up quickly, I didn’t think I was any good.

Then my high school choreographer used me as an example during a rehearsal…an example of how to dance well. That was a turning point for me and my confidence. I went on to earn a lead role in my senior musical (Anything Goes…a VERY dance intensive show) and win “best dancer” in my high school class. From then on, I was all about dance. I danced any time I could…until my knee gave out and my inner and outer dancers were benched.

Now, at the age of 45 with a 3-year-old left knee, I am back in dance. Okay, it’s not really dance…it’s an aerobics class at my local gym. But it’s called “Just Dance” and it does involve learning choreographed routines. So it’s dance in my book. And yet, I find am not the dancer I once was.

During the first class, I was so tense – both from seeing myself trying to move in the full-length mirror (yikes) and from  struggling to get my new knee and atrophied muscles to learn a simple combination. I came home feeling so defeated. My identity as “a dancer” had been called into question. Until I questioned it back. Was I really going to class to feed my ego or was I going to have fun and dance again, no matter how well?

The next class, I relaxed my mind, told myself to just have fun and practiced smiling (instead of grimacing) through my missteps. It was so much more fun and my body responded so much better. Okay, I wasn’t the nimble dancing girl I used to be, but I realized I didn’t have to be. I could learn to dance differently.

Isn’t that what we all have to learn to do in life and in work — dance differently depending on what comes our way, regardless of whether we are prepared, practiced and nimble? What if, instead of grimacing at ourselves (and others) when we didn’t live up to our own hype, we smiled, did our best, had fun and learned to dance in a way that works for where we are?

How can you relax and enjoy dancing differently today?